we don't gotta work it out

one of my favorite bloggers has been on a journey of self discovery and part of her journey has included experiencing wide varieties of music. when she recommended this group i wasted no time heading over to itunes to buy the whole album. it's not one of those groups where they have 2 good songs and the other 11 are lame.o. every single song rocks my socks off and i've been listening to this group non-stop for the past week.

30

i turned 30.

last weekend.

i saw one of my girlfriends today and she asked me if i freaked out about it at all. but i was excited to turn 30. 

as soon as i woke up on my birthday i sent a text to a friend and said that i woke up smarter and sexier. in my little brain that magic number transformed me into something better. it's all in my head of course, but there's some awesome things that go on in my head.

in reality it's not the number that has had any effect on me. it's just the confidence that comes with maturity and the happiness that comes when you truly figure out who you are and what drives you. 

and in all honesty, i did a lot of really stupid stuff in my early 20's and it feels good to know that i'm not that person anymore.

a workspace that inspires creativity

now that my boys are getting older i'm starting to feel like a lonely little lady in a house full of "dude stuff".

i saw this picture and felt totally inspired to mark some lady territory in my house and bring a little bit more femininity to my surroundings. even if it's just a little pink desk in a corner.

mamma needs pink back in her life!!!!!

image credit

jackson and his cute little face

look at those cute little freckles he's getting on his nose :)

sometimes i sit around and wonder what life would be like right now if i'd made just a couple different choices in my early years. it can be fun sometimes to imagine a life that could've been. but it's always the little things that bring me back to reality.

those cute little freckles on his nose. his skinny legs and knobby knees. how he farts uncontrollably when he laughs.

reality is much better than anything i dream up in my head.

temporary contentment

this is the time of year when i'm at peace with utah. the sky is blue. there's no inversion. the mountains are still green. and you don't melt away or freeze your butt off the second you walk out the door. 

i used to think i need 4 distinct seasons each year. i needed the extremes of winter and summer. 

now that i know better, i know that i don't need winter or summer at all. just the calm in between. 

so now, where do i go to find it??

the boy who couldn't boil a noodle

do you teach your kids to cook? 

i had a boy babysit the boys for me last year. he was 13 so i just assumed he could do basic cooking. i had leftover spaghetti sauce so i said for dinner he could just boil some spaghetti and microwave the sauce. 

but he didn't know how to boil spaghetti. 

so i got out some hot dogs and said he could microwave them for dinner. and i had the popcorn popper out so they could have popcorn while they watched a movie.

i came home to find out that he had no idea how to use an air-popper, and they ate cold hot dogs for dinner. 

and they almost started a fire trying to figure out how to use the air-popper.

i thought back to my childhood and couldn't remember a time when i wasn't cooking things for myself. i was 4 when my brother started paying me a quarter to make him popcorn. i believe i was 7 when i started baking all my siblings birthday cakes. by 6 i could at least make noodles, grilled cheese sandwiches and fry, poach & scramble eggs, and make a killer chocolate chip cookie.

after that incident i realized having the boys in the kitchen with me was more than just a fun activity. i'm determined to raise boys that know how to cook everything that i can cook. 

i can't tell you how nice it is to sleep in on saturdays and not have to worry about breakfast because jackson is in the kitchen happily making toast and scrambled eggs.

teach your boys to cook!

(i was in the kitchen on mothers day happily baking some brownies, when payton came in wanting to share the load so i could enjoy my day.)

they call me the wanderer

i try to not be a complainer. i think it's important to be positive about your circumstances no matter what they are. but darn it if i don't complain about life sometimes. there are just days when you wish you could trade places with someone who is living a more exotic life, or at least one moderately different than your own.

today was a day where i kind of just wandered around aimlessly. i thought about taking payton to the park. then ended up at the yarn store. meandered over to cafe rio. then found myself at the other end of the valley 40 minutes from home.

i wasn't sad or mad. i was just.....going through the very basic motions of life. but i looked out over the valley and just thought "life's pretty dang good."

on the farm

payton went to wheeler farm with his buddies eli & landon. it was such a perfect way to spend the morning. the boys spent an hour climbing a big tree and ginger and i just relaxed, talked & took pictures. the weather was perfect, the boys were perfect, and being there made me walk away even more convinced that i want a mini farm someday.

sunday dinner

i know that for a lot of people, especially around here, if you asked what was their favorite thing about sunday is they'd list the various things they enjoy about church. and i appreciate spiritual enlightenment on sundays, but the best thing for me on sundays is the food.

and it's nice to know that my kids love my food as much as i do. in primary yesterday the kids were asked what they loved the most about their moms. jackson's hand shot straight up and he said "my mom is the best cook!"

i'm not gonna lie. i was proud. and i was extra happy to be in the kitchen yesterday baking rolls, mashing potatoes and smelling that delicious turkey roast in the crock pot.

colors

i saw this photo (tatler UK) earlier this morning and was totally mesmerized. mostly because i was super tired, but also because of that color palette. it really made me wish i had a little girl so i could decorate her room using these colors.

a day with payton

is it corny to say that payton's birthday was "dreamy"? 

well, corny or not it was dreamy.

i'd had one of the worst days ever the day before his birthday. waking up in the morning finding out that someone has stolen your debit card number and gone on a shopping spree sucks balls. big time. but the god's of fraudulent charges were smiling down on me and i was able to take care of everything that day. 

when it comes to birthdays for my boys i like to keep them small. now that i'm an adult and all "self aware" i realize how much big gatherings stress me out. when they're older they can have big birthday parties with friends, but while they're small i want to soak up all the memories that i can. 

after payton had cake and opened his presents jackson went to his cousins house for a sleepover. so payton and i set up his hot wheels tracks and put together his various lego sets. we played, laughed, he told funny stories, then he told me "all i wanted for my birthday was to spend time with you".

seriously, best.thing.ever.

then i laid down on his bed and fell asleep listening to the cute sounds and things he would say while playing with his legos. 

it was dreamy.

happiness is a tricky thing

i follow a blog called the wild and wily ways of a brunette bombshell. you wouldn't believe what an amazing writer this woman is. She can write about something that i don't relate to in any way, but i find myself totally feeling the emotion and it wakes up something deep inside me. 

it sounds corny, i know. but for reals, this chick is amazing.

sometimes she writes about the eating disorder that she's struggled with and part of what she wrote today totally spoke to me.

happiness is a tricky thing, wouldn't you say? it's always somewhere else. over there. contingent upon when i's and if i's and the like. for me, for so long, it was well, when i'm thin, if i ever get thin then i'll be happy. i won't feel sadness, i won't feel anxious...i won't have to worry about sidelong glances from this person or that person, i won't have to fear. 


i won't have to fear. 


that was probably the big one. thin would eradicate all the ills of my life. it would be the plateau on which i would coast.


here's the thing.


thin does none of those things. absolutely not one. don't get me wrong, it has its advantages, but it does not heal relationships--it doesn't heal the part of yourself that is so hurting and broken--the part of you that becomes co-conspirator in this fallacy so that it gets left alone to fester and brood.

see. she's good. 

i spend so much time thinking about how great life will be when i'm as thin as i was when i met nate. but if i think that nothing can be better unless i'm thin then not only will things never get better, but i'll also never get thin like i want to be. 

so check out her blog.

lemon

i'm not a good dancer.

considering my natural athletic ability you'd think that i could dance. but sadly i was not blessed with those skills.

i do enjoy dancing though. the problem is that the people around me don't enjoy it so much. unless they're looking for a laugh.

you won't find me doing sexy dance moves to seduce my husband either. i gave it a try a couple times, but he laughed awkwardly and probably felt really bad for me.

i think liz lemon stole some of my awkward moves.

kntting club

i was catching up with one of my oldest friends last week. she filled me in on how she'd had another baby and didn't tell me. and how she was having heart problems during her pregnancy and didn't tell me (thanks Patty..). then she asked me what i'd been up to.

and my cool response was, "well, i just got done with my knitting club."

all i heard from her was laughter. crazy maniacal laughter. 

okay, she didn't laugh like a maniac. but she had the same reaction that most people do when i say the words "knitting club." total laughter and a few granny jokes at my expense.

nate has long told me that i'll make the best grandma ever. i already have all the hobbies of wonderful grandma's everywhere. and guess what dudes..i'm proud of it.

anywho.

since all the kids are on spring break we took our group to the park so the kids could play while the moms do what we do (mostly talk. knit a little bit).

they spent most of their time on the tire swing.

then they realized that the tire swing creates just as much pain as fun.

jackson smacked his head on somebody's head and payton thought he was going to throw up.

i didn't get much knitting done but the main reason we get together to knit was enjoyed. we talked, enjoyed the weather, and the kids played their hearts out.

and go ahead and call me granny. i'm cool with it.

downtown

to celebrate the first day of spring break we rode trax downtown and had a little mini adventure. 

maybe i've said this before...but i don't really like living in utah. 

maybe that's because i never go outside my comfort zone and see what all utah has to offer. so this little journey helped me feel a little bit better about being here.

but seriously, i've been back here for almost 3 years. you'd think i'd be okay with being here by now. 

what a loser.

time

sfgirlbybay recently featured a swedish photographer and designer Hilda Grahnat and my nerdy little heart skipped a beat when i saw photos of her studio apartment.

i believe i have previously mentioned how much i love clocks. i loooooove them. then throw in the hardbound books and you'll find me drooling.

how cute are those clocks?

him

i don't spend a lot of time on here talking about how much i love my husband. maybe i think no one really wants to hear it. or maybe it's because public displays of affection make me uncomfortable.


i'm sure it's both of those things.


but if you ever laid awake at night wondering what it is that i love about this man here it is.


here is one of the little things that makes him so great.


when he buys clothes he doesn't have the patience to try them on. he sees what he likes, buys it, and comes right home.


when he tries on said newly purchased clothes to see how they look he realizes they are too small.


but instead of getting mad or annoyed he dances around, makes funny faces, flexes his muscles, and lets me take pictures while i laugh so hard that i start "lizzing" (laughing+whizzing).


then he packs the clothes up and tries to get me to take them back to the mall because he'll be embarrassed about going back 45 minutes after he left.


but i don't do it.


that's love.

trickster

i used to have a dog. i had wanted one for ever and ever and ever. when nate was gone i kept asking him if i could get a dog. he kept saying no. so naturally i went out and bought a dog anyway. i took a picture of him with the boys and sent an email to nate that just said "sorry :)". being the nice person that he is, he didn't get too mad at me. i spent 9 wonderful months with that dog before i got caught and forced by the landlord to get rid of him. 

i've had a few months to recover from the loss of my dog and have now focused my attention on bunnies. i really want a house bunny. nate keeps telling me to wait until we live somewhere that allows pets. he's super paranoid that i'm just going to go out and get a pet anyway. so i preyed on that fear and played a little joke on him :)

payton and i spent the afternoon at a friends house playing with their bunnies and ducklings. i took a picture of the bunny and sent a text to nate.

he was asleep at the time. so it was a perfect time to send the message. he'd wake up groggy and a little grumpy, then as he's heading off to class he checks his messages and sees this! he was so mad at first! but after about 15 seconds i couldn't contain my laughter anymore and when he realized i was playing a trick on him he got a good laugh out of it too. 

you gotta mess with each other from time to time. it keeps the relationship lively.

drawsome

are you addicted to "draw something" yet?? i haven't really gotten into all the interactive games available to us now. but i was spending the day with my sister last week and she made me get the draw something app. my life will never be the same.

get the app and find me (through facebook) and you'll get to guess gems like these....

the good ol' days

i walked past an old ford bronco the other day. i'm one of those people that glances in the windows real quick. i'm not a thief checking for goods, i'm just a little curious. inside this bronco there was a stack of old cassette tapes and an old school tape deck with a tape sticking out of it. when was the last time you saw cassette tapes in regular every day use? 

it totally made my day.

then it got me reminiscing about the good old days.

i was in heaven when i was in 5th grade and got my very own alarm clock radio with a cassette player. i rode my bike down to IGA and bought some blank cassettes and i was ready to go! fully equipped to record any song that came on the radio. every night i would anxiously wait until 9:00 for the "hot 9 at 9" so i could record all the songs. when a couple friends started getting cd players and few years later i thought "this is never gonna catch on. why would you want a cd when you can record any song you want to a cassette straight from the radio?" but eventually i jumped on the cd bandwagon. before long we were all burning mixes for best friends and boyfriends. i still have bunch of them. remember how long it used to take to burn a cd? i remember spending almost an entire saturday at a friends house making a mix for my boyfriend. it took FOREVER!!!!

i don't feel like i'm old enough to be saying this, but can you believe how things have changed over the years? We didn't have internet in my house until i was a freshman. that was 1998. i had a cell phone senior year that was only capable of making and receiving calls. no texts. no voicemail. nothing. now i have everything at my fingertips with one tiny little device. pretty much everything i need is in my iphone. thus explaining the picture of old cds spread across the floor. they haven't been used in years. i was getting ready to throw them out when the boys found them and starting playing with them. my first reaction was to say "NO, YOU'LL SCRATCH THEM!" but caught myself and let them have their fun.

here's to the good ol' days :)