I was blessed from the very beginning with Jackson. When he was born he didn't even cry. I had a C-section so I couldn't' see anything. I new the he was out, but I didn't hear any thing so I started to panic. Then he sneezed. That was the only noise he made. He was always happy. He was a good sleeper, good eater, easy to take care of, and soooo handsom.
I always say that Jackson saved my life. When I had him I wasn't ready to be a mom, but if I hadn't had him who knows where I'd be and what I'd be doing.
People always tell me that Jackson is the sweetest boy that they know. Of course I see the not so sweet moments, but we all have those. Jackson can't go to bed at night without making sure that he get a kiss from both mom and dad. If I forget to read the Book of Mormon to him at bed time or say prayers with him he always reminds me. He always wants to help me cook, or clean. He loves to work with me in the yard whether I'm pulling weeds, raking leaves, or planting flowers. He always finds the cutest moments to say, "mom, I just really love you."
He was so excited to have a little brother. When Payton was just a few weeks old he was asleep, Jackson was in his bedroom playing with his toys, and I was mopping the kitchen floor. Payton woke up and started crying. Before I even had time to react Jackson was running down the hall yelling, "I'm comin' for ya Payton!!!" Even now, even though Jackson and Payton fight sometimes, Jackson still sticks up for him. This isn't the best example of sticking up for him, but it's cute. My friend Amanda was watching my kids while I was at work. Payton was in the high chair eating fishies, then decided to start throwing them. Amanda told him to stop throwing the fishies and apparently Jackson got mad at her for it. I don't know exactly what he said, but this is what was said when we got home. "So Jackson, I heard you were talking sassy to Amanda." "Yeah, she was tellin' MY brother what to do." "Well she's allowed to do that, she's the baby sitter. Payton shouldn't be throwing fishies." "I don't like her tellin' Payton what to do. I told her not to. Me and Daddy are the boss of Payton." "Well, actually Mommy and Daddy are the boss of Payton." "No."
I'm excited to watch him as he grows up. I'm so eager to see the new stages that he goes through and to see what kind of person he becomes. Right now I'm just trying to enjoy this special time I have with him while he's young. Before I know it he be in school all day and I won't have all this quality time with him.
Payton is fond of saying "No." He is seriously a little teaser. He'll walk over to the TV and stand there looking at me pretending like he's going to turn the TV off. He just waits for a reaction from me. As soon as I say "Payton.........." he turns as fast as he can to touch a button. Then I'll say "Do you need a time out?" and he'll sit down real fast and shake his head and say "NO." Then I'll say, "You want some fishies?" "NO." (but then he comes and gets some anyway) "You want some milk?" "NO" (drinks it anyway) "Want some peanut butter?" "NO" (then cries until I give him a spoonful) It's really quite entertaining. This kid has a great sense of humor.
"During my professional career as a doctor of medicine, I was occasionally asked why I chose to do that difficult work. I responded with my opinion that the highest and noblest work in this life is that of a mother. Since that option was not available to me, I thought that caring for the sick might come close. I tried to care for my patients as compassionately and competently as Mother cared for me."
Julie B. Beck:
"The responsibility mothers have today has never required more vigilance. More than at any time in the history of the world, we need mothers who know. Children are being born into a world where they wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places
However, mothers need not fear. when mothers know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, they will have great power and influence for good on their children."
The First Presidency:
"Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind."
Payton was up in the middle of the night with a bad cough. I got him out of bed and gave him some cough syrup. I was really tired so I was going to just put him back to bed, but I decided to sit on the couch and hold him for a while. Payton always wants to be moving. Since he learned how to crawl he's wanted to be on the move constantly. Once he got past the newborn stage I wanted to train him to go to sleep on his own so I tried to never let him fall asleep in my arms. I'd forgotten what a great feeling it is to have my little one fall asleep while I was holding him. Last night he snuggled right into me and just held me as tight as he could. While he was falling asleep he just rubbed my shoulder with his chubby little hand. It was nice to sit alone in the quiet of the night and look at his perfectly chubby face while he slept. In the craziness of the day it's easy to forget how lucky we are to be mothers. I'm grateful for those quiet moments with my children when I can remember how blessed I am to be a mother.
Jackson started pre-school last week! I took a picture of him before we left and another one after we got there. He was so excited to be at school that he couldn't even hold still for the picture. He really likes to be at school and loves his teacher. Her name is Ms. Pat, but he calls her Ms. Pet.
Gordon B. Hinkley
My friend had that quote up on her blog and it made me think. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in negative thoughts. I try to always be positive, but sometimes I can't help but think that maybe I'm missing out on something. It's taken me a while to realize that love and marriage doesn't turn out the way it does in the movies. Your own love story never seems great once you've seen those amazing (and fictional) love stories in the movies.
Lately when I talk about myself I say I'm "just a mom." I don't know about the rest of the moms out there, but for me it's easy to feel like I'm not contributing to the world. When the majority of your conversations are with a 3 year old it's easy to think that there are bigger things going on that you aren't a part of because you're "just a mom."
It's nice to get a reality check every once in a while and realize that even though marriage has plenty of ups and downs, and it constantly takes hard work, it's the most worth-while thing we can be doing. And our individual love stories are better than the ones in the movies because ours are real. And what more can you do to contribute to society than by being a loving, positive influence in your childs life?